Wicked

guest blogger extraordinaire debuting soon

Apes

eating grapes

sweet explosive ice cold bursts of flavor to the senses

all unique yet

inherently

one

similar in the way they are consumed by their life quest

impermanent

they dissipate into nothing and everything

and the ones that remain

try to find meaning within meaning

(shadows fading into the sun)

until you read again amigos,

sayonara.

Sam 

Existence

There are ways. Dead ends have doors in the floor.

The abyss has a shore and we will always ask for more and more until the day descends and we die our deaths of slumber.

In the morning we will rise again. The sun will scorch us into the shadows of our caves and will we sit together and debate about the ways we consume our sustenance.

Fire.

 

Burning embers that transform and we create a new existence for the life that we derailed. And we are consumed by what we consume. So that what we consume goes on in some way …to exist.

 

Our sincerest regards to you readers. Your love and feedback make our collective days.

Sam

Influenced by food

Food will make or break you. Recall the last time your day was totally consequential of what you consumed earlier that day?

The halwa pooris for breakfast that rendered you so comatose that you would wake in the early evening just in time for tea.

Pooris: inducing comas since the dark ages.

The frothy electric tea that reacted like someone had clapped once really loudly inside your head. The mother’s buttered cucumber sandwiches that the child took to school at such an age that he would always remember and seek out that distinct taste in his meals, so he could be closer.

We can always control what we consume although there are exceptions to the rule: respect to customs, sociocultural norms, health and starvation. You know this.

So let’s call it this way:

Sven was also responsible for designing the meatballs at IKEA.

What one food memory that you have experienced has influenced you the most ? Moved you to the most extreme emotions and made you swear in anger or delight – or maybe you did not swear at all because you were a little more inclined to appreciate something in a more positive less sarcastic way and instead offered to golf clap the chef to sleep to the rhythm of his native Scandinavian lullabies.

You can clearly see that we don’t bother to edit our random tangents into fantasy. Either way – we gotta know – because this blog literally (my girl abhors my use of this word out of context) feeds off your thoughts even if they are all exaggerated whimsy.

The food in the rear view mirror of nostalgic retrospect may appear larger than it normally is.

We’re taking your suggestions to heart readers, and working on some outrageous and entertaining video logs to kick up the notch on our food foolery so you guys are in for treats.

Stay safe amigos.

Sam

What will you eat ?

Am I a man / or am I a freakin’ goat ?!

Will I eat anything ?

 The answer is: Yes  (just add Sriracha)

just promise you’ll never call it hot sauce.

There are foods out there. Off the lists of beaten and glossy laminated menus; that call out to us; for or between meals and take you places you never thought you would venture. Foods the masses don’t eat. Things you crave but don’t speak of because people would make weird faces and label you as “someone who will eat just about anything”.

nana knows what you ate last night

Don’t be shy. This is hardly a living room full of people you need to appease and this is definitely not your party.

Tell us about the worst things you eat and why you do it.

Sam

Bun Kabab vs the Vada Pav

Dear Reader,

Various sources of Indian origin have approached me after reading our Bun Kabab 101 post and said that “the Vada Pav would beat the Bun Kabab a thousand times over” and that “there is nothing like Vada pav”.

What is this food with so many “V’s” you might ask?

Wikipedia cites that: The Vada (pronounced vurrah-pao) Pav is a popular dish native to the Indian State of Maharashtra and consists of a “Batata vada” sandwiched between two slices of a pav.

A batata whatada ?!  The batata translates to potato while vada means hockey puck in Sanskrit. Bombayites swear by it. It’s an iconic staple of street side food. Basically a potato ball mixed with spices mixed with a chickpea flour batter and fried. Mint coriander and sweet red mystery chutnies are used. A dried garlic chilli spice is sprinkled on.

vada

I’ve had vada pavs before and I do have my own biases related to potato patties but i’d really like this to be discussed on the open forum battlefield that is our blog. So folks, let’s hear it. Bun Kababs or Vada Pavs ?

How is this going to play out ? Make yourself heard ! Vote to defend your right to consume !

The Indian Ice Hockey team always ended up eating the hockey pucks

Have fun !

Sam

P.S: As a bonus to you voting at the poll i urge you to check out this amazing Bollywood number with the mystical Batata Vada as the central subject/metaphor.

Bun Kabab 101

The Bun Kabab as it is known; is pure street. The street is in Idontknowabad, Pakistan. Throngs of heaving humans erupt from their offices to commute home and vendors situate themselves in key locations. People form lines like the hands of an octopus around the makeshift setup. Third world street deco.

The perfect kebab is beef and differs from any other burger patty because it is mixed in with the dirt of the motherland, ground lentils (chana dal), sprinkled with mystical cumin and egg washed with a batter of organic eggs before being fried in ghee or oil.

Shiny skinned buns are buttered and then toasted on the edges of the expansive karhai the kebabs are fried in. The oil pools in the middle where the kebabs are occasionally flipped by a diligent mustachioed artisan who isn’t wearing gloves while handling your food. It wouldn’t be the same if he did.

A sprinkle of onions and a slathering of arsenic green mint chutney later…

comes with your very own towel cause you'll need it to wipe the defeat off your face

I often sometimes never like to take on challenges but I have always wanted to take the Bun Kabab to the next level. I’ve heard of variations from Indian and Pakistani vendors using a potato cutlet instead which would seem blasphemous to some Pakistanis. The beef and egg version is most popular among the street vendors in Pakistan as beef is the cheaper meat alternative. Pakistani aunties (an amazing resourceful network) use Chicken because of their collective husbands and their bouts with high cholesterol.

Gus knows how I like to add exquisite gourmet touches to things*. I personally would like to incorporate paneer (south east asian cottage cheese) into the patty or the composite Bun Kebab in some way.

*(Side-note: I once made him the most amazing two Cheetos’ he’s ever had)

Cheetos' addiction started early in Gus' case.

With the advent of Hole in the wall ethnic “entertainment” food along the nooks and crannies on Lower Gerrard St. in Toronto I would normally be quick to write off their efforts because of the sheer adulteration of a product that revels its street crudeness to begin with.

Their north americanisation combined with their frugalities result in a version that results in an alien offspring robbed of culture but still going through the motions (sound like someone you know?).

I simply cannot relate to how mainstream street food from the subcontinent has evolved here in North America. However there are a couple of places like Lahore Pan House aka. The Desi Burger House (in front of Lahore Tikka House) where you can get a mean Bun Kebab fix late into the night. They also make a really awesome Lahori falooda with khoya if you are in the mood. And if you’re asking what Falooda is… that’s a whole different blog post.

They're not exactly being surveyed by Zagat

Now that I’ve taken on this endeavor it’d be great to hear from our readers on how they’d like to see it all go down. What would you add to you Bun Kebab if it were your last supper? What would you drink?

I will docupost (made up word) my research and findings with you in the upcoming weeks related to my pledged food challenge. This will also be the first of many food challenges Gus and I will set for ourselves and for your bemused entertainment. Please do be vocal and voice your passionate opinions and we promise to match and maximize your contributions.

Stay tuned!  We’d love to hear your comments and if you like us please do follow our blog.

Sam